Affair Recovery Groups
Is The Isolation Of Infidelity Weighing On Your Life And Relationship?
There is nothing more painful in the course of a couple’s life together than infidelity. If you are like the couples I’ve worked with over the years, you are wondering…and worrying…about the future of your marriage. Everything you held dear has been destroyed. Both of you are in agony. Both of you are unsure of yourselves. You may be suffering in silence with symptoms of PTSD, including panic attacks, insomnia, and intense anger. It’s isolating enough to feel like you can’t talk openly with your partner, let alone manage the stress of feeling like no one around you could possibly understand what you’re going through.
As a therapist specializing in infidelity, I know that healing can be hindered when a couple is isolated—living in the secret shame and embarrassment that only infidelity can cause. That’s why I offer private affair recovery support groups to individuals whose relationships have been impacted by infidelity.
Whether you are reeling from discovering your spouse’s unfaithfulness or dealing with the guilt of having betrayed your partner, my groups are designed to help both of you learn how to rebuild your sense of self-respect and maybe even hope for your relationship.
Have Any Questions? Reach Out To Me!
Affair Recovery Support Groups Through My Practice
Group sessions run for 10 weeks at a time, either online or out of my office location in Golden, Colorado. One group helps partners who have been betrayed, while the other group helps partners who have been unfaithful. Typically, groups are divided by gender, oriented around women whose husbands have cheated and men who have cheated on their wives. However, groups for betrayed husbands and unfaithful wives can be facilitated if there are enough participants. Participation from both partners is not a requirement.
This process is entirely confidential, and group members are thoroughly screened to ensure that open sharing is possible and respect for privacy is maintained.
Regardless of which group you participate in, the goal for affair recovery is to normalize your emotional response, lessen the isolation you feel, and offer you support and insight as you re-establish a sense of self-trust and healing in your life.
Affair Recovery Group Option #1: Betrayed Partners Group (Typically A Women’s Group, Though Men’s Groups Will Form On Request)
No one can prepare you for the emotional and psychological pain of infidelity. If you are like most people, you are torn between wanting to save your marriage and doubting yourself for wanting to stay.
Isolation is making your pain worse as you experience decreased trust in your relationship and shame about opening up to others about what you’ve been through.
What you may not realize is that this isolation and shame are getting in the way of your recovery. Connecting with others who can relate to your pain is a transformative step forward in the healing process.
Openly discussing your experience with people who share the same painful emotions and who are at different points along the journey can offer you new strategies and insights for recovery.
What To Expect
In general, psychotherapy groups revolve around openly processing and listening as each group member shares their story. However, some elements of our affair recovery groups are structured, drawing from elements of Family Systems theory and the premises put forth in my book The Trust Trap: 7 Keys To Free Your Mind And Your Relationship After The Affair. Each week, we will explore one key (with some keys taking multiple weeks to cover).
1) Pause – when infidelity occurs, trust is broken in a way that not only affects trust between you and your partner but also the trust you have in yourself.
This step is designed to encourage you to pause, step back, and figure out what is not working in the recovery process.
2) Self-trust – as you develop more awareness of the relationship, you can begin the process of learning to hold your own and knowing confidently what you think and feel.
3) Emotional Vortex – in this step, you will begin to recognize which patterns have taken over in your relationship and how to observe those patterns in a way that will lead to more clarity and less conflict.
4) Deliberate Disruption – outlines the stages of change and what it takes to meaningfully disrupt counterproductive patterns.
5) Learning to Channel Fear and Anger – many people want to mitigate these feelings entirely, but fear and anger can be a productive, essential part of the recovery process. In this step, you will learn how to use intense emotions to create healthy boundaries and foster change.
6) Dealing with the Isolation – drawing in aspects of personal history and the larger family system, you can learn more about the relational systems in your life and how to get what you need out of them.
7) Treating the Trauma – getting to the core of your distress, Neurofeedback, psychedelics, and/or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) may be recommended to rewire how trauma is stored in the mind and body.
The First Step To Lasting Change
The affair recovery process is about transformation, change, and rebuilding trust in yourself and the relationship. You’re here because things aren’t working, but you’re also taking the first step to initiate meaningful, lasting change in your life. Let’s work together in a support group to give you the tools you need to overcome the pain of infidelity.
Affair Recovery Group Option #2: Unfaithful Partners Group (Typically A Men’s Group, Though Women’s Groups Will Form On Request)
The emotional rollercoaster and torture following an affair is an agony unlike any other. On the one hand, you may be deeply invested in saving your marriage, while on the other hand, you may worry that the relationship—and you—are irredeemable.
The shame you experience probably makes you feel like it would be better to punish yourself in isolation, but this isolation is creating a hurdle in your recovery process.
Connecting with others who struggle with the same pain can help you feel less alone and ashamed. As you explore the reasons for infidelity alongside others, you can develop a new understanding of your relationship and what it will take to heal.
Still Unsure If An Infidelity Support Group Is Right For You?
I don’t know that my spouse will agree to attend an infidelity support group.
Affair recovery groups are available to partners who have been unfaithful and partners who have been betrayed, but participation from both partners is not a requirement. If your spouse has concerns about this process, I encourage you to include them in a free, 15-minute consultation with me so I can learn more about how to make this process comfortable for them.
I’m worried that this process won’t be confidential.
Privacy and confidentiality are essential aspects of infidelity support groups. I carefully screen every participant ahead of our sessions to ensure they are aware of the expectations surrounding confidentiality and can feel comfortable sharing openly with the group.
You Can Find Healing And Community In The Midst Of Your Pain
If you want to learn how to regain and rebuild trust after infidelity in your relationship, my affair recovery support groups are available to anyone whose marriage has been impacted by unfaithfulness. For more information or to schedule a consultation, contact me.
You Can Find Healing And Community In The Midst Of Your Pain
If you want to learn how to regain and rebuild trust after infidelity in your relationship, my affair recovery support groups are available to anyone whose marriage has been impacted by unfaithfulness. For more information or to schedule a consultation, contact me.
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